I can’t handle this anymore
I can’t deal with this drama anymore with friends that I’m losing. I like this guy so much but I’m pretty sure he doesn’t feel the same about me. When I broke down yesterday and cried from threats I’ve been getting, he put his arm around me and it made me feel better, but I’m sure it was just comfort for a friend.
I had surgery yesterday and I have barely had solid foods for about two months, I’m starving with no money or food that I can eat in my house. I called my mom to drop off food and when she starts asking about my drama and I told her I didn’t want to to get into it, she hangs up on me and I guess she’s not doing to bring me food now. So that means I’m probably not going to eat until 6 o clock tonight.
I feel so deperessed and I want it all to work out for once. Nothing ever does for me.
And it reminds me of my car, why the fuck do I have to wreck my car. Everyone else I know has such an easy time getting ahold of a vehicle, and when I finally get one for a month and fucking wreck it. Now I’m on the bus all the goddamn time after 5 years of it already so I can fucking get an education.
I get cat calls everyday when I walk home and creepy guys trying to get me to get in their car. It makes me feel like shit and doesn’t build my ego. I’m scared when it happens.
I feel like I need to rant at someone about these things, but I can’t without being seriously judged or made fun of.
I know I’m definitely better off than some people, and maybe my surgery and pain that I’m in right now is making my emotions all wonky.
But this fucking sucks. For once I just want to be pampered a little. I’m also depressed that they guy I really like I probably don’t get to have.
